Who Lied To You?

4 Myths You Were Told About Marriages

Being married is a beautiful thing. To have a special person in your life that you get to wake up to every day, share your desires and goals with, is absolutely amazing! Not only to share those goals, but to be supported in them as well. Depending on who you talk to, you can hear some the craziest, old school myths about marriages- that people actually believe!!! I want to highlight some of those myths so people don’t fall into believing this false narrative.

Marriage changes people. This is a deep one that we can discuss for hours on end. We see many people, mainly women, thinking their significant other will change as a result of being married. We force commitment on them, thinking it would change who they are. True, there is some change that occurs in marriages, but for the most part, the person you marry is the person he or she will be. Let me repeat that for the people in the back: the person you marry will most likely (emphasis on most) not change. For example, If you’re in a abusive relationship, marriage won’t make that person be less abusive-if anything it can increase.

Having a child will strengthen the relationship. This is a WHOLE lie! If your marriage is in trouble before you have a child, bringing one into the world will not make it better. A child will more than likely make it worse, because the issues are easily avoided by placing more focus on the child. Your child is unknowingly caught in a covert triangle-how fair is that??

Your kids should always come first. Have you seen in the many chat groups or posts -questions such as “Ladies, who do you serve first at the table?” blah blah blah. The comments are actually very interesting to read. But with these conversations and and many others, it is interesting to see how many people put their children first ALL the time. Well, let me ask you this: if your children always come first, when do you have time to focus on your relationship (when your children are go to sleep, when they turn 20..😒)? Children are indeed important, because they depend solely on us parents for their survival. Do you know what else needs to be taken care of in order to survive-your relationship. There are times where the children need to be in the back seat (pun intended).

With time, you naturally grow closer. This could not be further from the truth. Communication, intimacy (not just sex), working through conflicts is what brings forth growth in your relationship. Ever hear someone say they are closer to their spouse now than what they were 10 years ago? This is because they continuously learn one another and make changes together. You don’t stop growing because you get married and we all don’t change at the same pace. Failure to communicate, not adjusting to your spouse’s growth and ignoring the necessary work that it takes, can produce detatchment in your relationship.

These are just some of the things we see, hear and believe about marriages and they simply are not true. What are some myths a you’ve heard about marriages? Share below.

Picture from reigningpeace.org

Published by KSaloneCoach

Kasey is a Relationship Coach that specializes in couples who struggle with communication, intimacy and boundaries in their relationships. With a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, she has learned how to work with complex systems and understand the profound effect of collaboration. Kasey has helped hundreds of people work through their challenges, and enhance their relationships. Not just through her education, but as a United States Navy Veteran, Kasey has traveled the world and experienced first hand the various ways that love is communicated. Also through her military service, Kasey learned the core values of honor, courage and commitment, and has applied it to her businesses and relationships. She believes that the client is the expert on their own lives and success is the result of client willingness and the relationship with the coach. Her goal is to create loving, lasting and cohesive relationships-no matter where you are in your journey. Kasey and her husband, a 21 year servicember the United States Navy, have been married for 12 years, have 3 children, a dog, and tons of memories from their various duty stations. Kasey’s new podcast A Melanated Mess, will be available in July. Also she has written for Queens Uniting, a non profit organization and Military Spouse Behavioral Health Clinicians (MSBHC). You can find Kasey on Instagram and Facebook @ksalonecoach. She recently completed her first relationship e-workbook, 5 Senses of Love, which is available on her website www.ksalone.com.

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