Our Relationship with Fear

I have this little book with all of the things I would like to accomplish. They say in order to live out your dreams, you have to see them on paper and get them out of that safe place (in your head). Well, first of all, I do not know who “they” is, second, writing them out does not always help. True, keeping your dreams and goals in your head (protected space is what I call it) can drastically reduce the chance of putting those goals into fruition. But I have learned that writing them down does not always get you closer. What gets you closer, is the actually putting in the work. So why do not we put in the work? I know one reason why, her name is fear. Why is fear a she you may wonder? I can only speak of for me, a woman. Here are some reasons that we live in fear:

1. We (women) are very protective of their families and rather be safe than take big risks that may put their family finances in jeopardy.
2. It is easier to never start than be told no and fail.
3. We often don’t believe in ourself and capabilities. We fill our heads with “who will listen, what do I have to offer, what if I am not good enough?” (I have been guilty of these self-deprecating statements).
4. We allow society to distinguish what our place is.

While some of those statements may be true, also understand what comes with being fearful.
1. Never living up to your true self.
2. Always wondering “what if.”
3. Giving in to the narrative.

Don’t give in to the narrative. It is better to be told no, or to have tried and failed, than to never try at all. Keep this in mind: 409 got its name because it (took the two scientists that created it) 409 times to get it right. Fear is an illusion, do not give it life.

What fear have you had to overcome?

Note: The statements above are solely the opinion of the author.

Published by KSaloneCoach

Kasey is a Relationship Coach that specializes in couples who struggle with communication, intimacy and boundaries in their relationships. With a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, she has learned how to work with complex systems and understand the profound effect of collaboration. Kasey has helped hundreds of people work through their challenges, and enhance their relationships. Not just through her education, but as a United States Navy Veteran, Kasey has traveled the world and experienced first hand the various ways that love is communicated. Also through her military service, Kasey learned the core values of honor, courage and commitment, and has applied it to her businesses and relationships. She believes that the client is the expert on their own lives and success is the result of client willingness and the relationship with the coach. Her goal is to create loving, lasting and cohesive relationships-no matter where you are in your journey. Kasey and her husband, a 21 year servicember the United States Navy, have been married for 12 years, have 3 children, a dog, and tons of memories from their various duty stations. Kasey’s new podcast A Melanated Mess, will be available in July. Also she has written for Queens Uniting, a non profit organization and Military Spouse Behavioral Health Clinicians (MSBHC). You can find Kasey on Instagram and Facebook @ksalonecoach. She recently completed her first relationship e-workbook, 5 Senses of Love, which is available on her website www.ksalone.com.

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