How Outsiders Influence your Relationship

Everyone knows the saying “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” Or “Lose lips sink ships.” Why is this not the same in marriages? Why are outsiders allowed to have an influence on what occurs in your home?

First, let’s recognize who the “outsiders” are that I’m referring to. My definition of outsider: anyone who doesn’t live with you (laugh…but I’m serious). Yes, this means your mama too. This is not to say that you can’t have conversations with your friends. But going into detail about the events that occur in your home produces the following consequences:

1: You open the door for others to have opinions on your life. You may not think this, but usually when you vent, cry, or complain or praise of your relationship, a response will follow.

2. When you express these concerns to others, do you trust they will keep your information confidential? So now you’ve possibly (unknowingly) discussed your relationship woes with more than one person.

3. Domestic conflict. Including others in your marital business will cause conflict with your spouse, and trust may decline. He/she may not trust that you will respect the confidentiality of what goes on in your home.

This is not to say, not have a close friend that you can confide in from time to time. We all need that,right? On a TV show I recently seen, the couple met with two other couples and they would get together monthly and discuss their problems and work on resolution as a team. If this works for you-great. However, there should be an understanding of what shall not leave the home.

Once you marry, that is your New union~a separation from your own life, depending on your culture/religion. One way to decrease conflict in your home is by not letting others in. Don’t let friends, family, or loved ones have power over your life.

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