Marriage tips continued~2 more days.

2/3: Accepting the Bad with the Good/Picking Your Battles

I referenced in the last post how rough the first years of marriage can be. Even though it is the honeymoon period, it is also an adjustment period as well. Another thing I learned during the first few years is accepting the good with the bad. I wanted everything to be perfect, and be that couple that never has any problems-no marriage will ever be like this. Yet, I figured mine would be the exception. I wanted to “fix” the bad things about him so much, that I forgot focus on the all the great things he brought to the relationship. After worrying, stressing and consistently trying to make him “perfect,” I neglected how amazing he was (still is). So what if your guy leaves the toilet seat up, has one beer a night after work, or if your wife leaves hair in the sink-will that be detrimental to your marriage….NO!

This is called nitpicking, and I was guilty. Did it hurt me, my kids, our finances, lifestyle, etc.? It didn’t. Ask yourself, how does him leaving the toilet seat up going to ruin my marriage? If this is the worst thing about your marriage, you just may have found a keeper.

I always tell my friends when they first enter a relationship: identify the negatives/red flags. Then ask yourself if they are deal breakers for you. This is how you learn, early on, if these actions will have a severe effect on your relationship in the future.

Pick your battles. Think before you speak. Ask yourself: is this conversation necessary, will it change the course of our marriage? Will it make our marriage better?

 

 

Published by KSaloneCoach

Kasey is a Relationship Coach that specializes in couples who struggle with communication, intimacy and boundaries in their relationships. With a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, she has learned how to work with complex systems and understand the profound effect of collaboration. Kasey has helped hundreds of people work through their challenges, and enhance their relationships. Not just through her education, but as a United States Navy Veteran, Kasey has traveled the world and experienced first hand the various ways that love is communicated. Also through her military service, Kasey learned the core values of honor, courage and commitment, and has applied it to her businesses and relationships. She believes that the client is the expert on their own lives and success is the result of client willingness and the relationship with the coach. Her goal is to create loving, lasting and cohesive relationships-no matter where you are in your journey. Kasey and her husband, a 21 year servicember the United States Navy, have been married for 12 years, have 3 children, a dog, and tons of memories from their various duty stations. Kasey’s new podcast A Melanated Mess, will be available in July. Also she has written for Queens Uniting, a non profit organization and Military Spouse Behavioral Health Clinicians (MSBHC). You can find Kasey on Instagram and Facebook @ksalonecoach. She recently completed her first relationship e-workbook, 5 Senses of Love, which is available on her website www.ksalone.com.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: