Broken people can’t create a whole relationship

I love the quote “broken crayons still color.” In fact, that was one of the few names I had for this blog, until I saw others had it as well. I love this quote because it signifies resilience. Just because you are broken, does not mean you throw in the towel. You are still operational, don’t give up, you can still color. However, in relationships, I would not offer the same sentiment.

Yes, the broken crayons still color, but they are still broken, right? Often people want to enter new relationships as a means to get over the past one, not realizing the hurt, jealousy, insecurities they still harbor. Ever heard the saying “the best way to get over someone is to get under another one?” Dumbest advice ever! We expect the next person coming along to deal with the emotions, pick up the broken pieces, mend them, and prove that they are not your ex……But Why? Why bring your baggage into a new situiationship (yes, I said that) and expect us to prove ourselves, and deal with insecurities that have nothing to do with us? It is not fair, and actually, the relationship is starting off all wrong.

Here’s an idea: heal yourself, don’t expect someone else to do it. Don’t let the new person bear the load and emotional strain that occurred before him/her? Take your time, work on yourself, not to just be better for someone else, but for a better you as well. Don’t be the broken crayon still trying to color, be the refurbished one that has been through some things, was fixed, and can color as good as before.

Have you been thinking about becoming a therapist?

Being a therapist is very hard and draining work. However it is very rewarding. Below I will highlight some important factors to consider when deciding to become a therapist.

  1. TIME! I placed this in all caps because time is a very important factor when deciding to become a therapist. Many people think that once they are out of school, they will automatically become a therapist. Combining education (2-3.5 years), and post grad hours (2-3) years, it may take anywhere from 4 to 6 years to become a therapist. So patience is key. Consider if you are willing to put in the time necessary to be in this field.
  2. Cost. Program costs is an extremely important factor in the field of therapy. Is the program accredited? What type of school is it  (brick an mortar, for profit)? For example, where I received my master’s online (Capella), costs more than what it would have, if I would have attended my undergrad university for their master’s program. However, the online program was for-profit, and had more accreditations. So look at the cost of the program and determine if the investment is worth it. Post grad, you have exams, depending on the program. The AAMFTRB exam is $350. Supervision, if you are not working at an agency (who mostly offer free supervision), expect to pay your supervisor anywhere from $50-$175 or more. I will go more into supervision in another post, but keep in mind that supervision is required for at least 2 years, for most post grad therapy degrees. for example,  $100 per hour x 200 hours = $20, 000 in supervision costs. Marinate on that.
  3. The humbling years. Coming out of school, I knew I wanted to work with families. As a practicum student, or post graduate therapist, your options are limited-and sometimes it depends on the state. I worked in community based counseling for internship, and it was draining. It was mostly teens, and that was not my niche, however, I needed the hours. Post grad, I moved, and did not want to go back into community based counseling, and ended up doing the same thing. There is much trauma, and it extremely draining, but it looks amazing on your resume. People often say, if you can work community-based, you can work anywhere. The experience gained is like no other, but it is very humbling, and may not be what you are looking for after school, but will definitely assist you in becoming a more well rounded therapist.

Check back for part II.