Who are you?

Is that really important? Actually, it is. One must know thyself in order to know their path, their calling and heir passions. But that is not the only thing holding us back on pursuing dreams.


You often hear someone say “I wish I was that bold,” or “I’m too old to start over.” I can go on and on. We are our own worst enemy and often our own dream killers. Yes, you must know who you are to identify your calling, but you also have to stop negative self talk. Standing in the way of your success, whatever that may be, merely indicates that you don’t believe in YOU! So how do we do this? Read below for my starter kit on self confidence:

1. Dismiss negative self talk.

There is nothing worse that speaking of yourself negatively. Challenge that by doing # 2.

2. Words of affirmation. 

Be an encouragement to yourself. Get a journal, use your phone, or even do a 30 day challenge with your friend. Words of affirmation cancels negativity and positively pushes you to become more aware of your strengths. For example, I Am affirmations are a great start. A simple: I Am Powerful can change your whole mindset. Do these for 30 days and your mindset will shift!

3. Think of your past achievements.

One thing I like to do when I see clients who are depressed, is ask them to tell me about a time when they weren’t depressed. This shifts their mindset to focus on the positive. So think about your past achievements ( a promotion, passing a class, completing a 5k). When you look at your past achievements, you have proof of your awesomeness and how you’ve overcome obstacles.

4. Healthy habits.

What are you eating and drinking,  because believe it or not, unhealthy eating habits can make you feel depleted. Refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, etc have an affect on your seretonin levels. Certain foods actually block the production of serotonin.  Other healthy habits could be guided meditation or yoga. These will place you in a positive space and assist you in weeding out bad thoughts. Another plus is it actually relaxes you.

5. Surround yourself with positive people.

Sometimes it’s really just the people in your life that contribute to your self doubt. Surround yourself with friends and family that will uplift you. Never seek to be the smartest in your group of friends. Seek relationships that will motivate you.

6. Pursue counseling 

You knew that was coming. Oftentimes, self doubt is taught, or can be the result of a tragic event. Talking to someone about these thoughts may bring about underlining circumstances that have contributed to toyed current state.

So with all being stated, what do you think?  When you are full of self doubt, how do you combat this? Post your comments below.

Published by KSaloneCoach

Kasey is a Relationship Coach that specializes in couples who struggle with communication, intimacy and boundaries in their relationships. With a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, she has learned how to work with complex systems and understand the profound effect of collaboration. Kasey has helped hundreds of people work through their challenges, and enhance their relationships. Not just through her education, but as a United States Navy Veteran, Kasey has traveled the world and experienced first hand the various ways that love is communicated. Also through her military service, Kasey learned the core values of honor, courage and commitment, and has applied it to her businesses and relationships. She believes that the client is the expert on their own lives and success is the result of client willingness and the relationship with the coach. Her goal is to create loving, lasting and cohesive relationships-no matter where you are in your journey. Kasey and her husband, a 21 year servicember the United States Navy, have been married for 12 years, have 3 children, a dog, and tons of memories from their various duty stations. Kasey’s new podcast A Melanated Mess, will be available in July. Also she has written for Queens Uniting, a non profit organization and Military Spouse Behavioral Health Clinicians (MSBHC). You can find Kasey on Instagram and Facebook @ksalonecoach. She recently completed her first relationship e-workbook, 5 Senses of Love, which is available on her website www.ksalone.com.

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